“Love is not about clinging; it is about becoming.”
By: Rev. Dr. Harold Marrero
Love has always been a force that both unites and challenges humanity. From ancient rituals to modern celebrations, Valentine’s Day has long been associated with romance—but its origins are far from the commercial holiday we know today. While many see February 14 as a day of flowers, chocolates, and grand gestures, its history is rooted in something much deeper: resilience, transformation, and a love that defies boundaries.
At No Reservations, we believe love is more than fleeting emotions or performative gestures—it is the ongoing work of becoming, together. Love is sacred when it nurtures authenticity, and the greatest gift we can offer one another is the space to Elevate in Love: to grow, evolve, and transform in ways that honor our true selves.
The Origins of Valentine’s Day: A Love Beyond Romance
The story of Valentine’s Day is a mosaic of myths, legends, and historical truths. At its core, it is a day that began not with romance, but with rebellion and sacrifice.
One of the most popular legends ties the holiday to St. Valentine, a Christian priest in third-century Rome. At the time, Emperor Claudius II had outlawed marriages for young men, believing that single soldiers fought better than those with families. Valentine, moved by compassion, defied this decree by secretly performing marriages. When his defiance was discovered, he was arrested and later executed on February 14, around the year 270 CE.
Another layer of history links Valentine’s Day to the ancient Roman festival of Lupercalia, a fertility celebration held in mid-February. The festival involved rituals meant to purify the city and encourage health and reproduction. As Christianity spread, these older traditions were absorbed and transformed into what we now recognize as Valentine’s Day.
By the Middle Ages, the poet Geoffrey Chaucer helped shape Valentine’s Day into a celebration of romantic love, associating it with the season when birds begin to pair off. Over the centuries, it evolved into the holiday of love letters, chocolates, and candlelit dinners that we know today.
But beneath the surface of commercialization, the essence of Valentine’s Day remains a profound act of defying fear, choosing connection, and affirming love’s power to transform.
Elevate in Love: The No Reservations Lens on Authentic Love
At No Reservations, we believe that true love is not about possession or stagnation—it is about freedom, transformation, and mutual support in the journey toward authenticity. Love is not about molding someone into an idealized version of who we want them to be. Instead, it is about allowing them to become who they are meant to be, even as they change and grow.
This is the heart of Elevate in Love: a call to embrace love as a dynamic, evolving force that nurtures authenticity in both partners.
Love as a Journey, Not a Destination
We often hear that relationships require work, but what does that actually mean? It is not about fixing one another, nor is it about enduring struggle for the sake of obligation. Instead, it is about co-creating a space where each person is safe to explore, fail, learn, and transform. Love is at its strongest when it allows both partners to stretch toward their highest selves.
To Elevate in Love means:
- Honoring each other’s evolution – People are not static. Who we were five years ago is not who we are today. Love requires holding space for change rather than resisting it.
- Encouraging self-discovery – True love does not confine; it liberates. It says, “I see you. I support you. I celebrate your journey.”
- Choosing love daily – Love is not a feeling that stays constant. It is an active choice, a daily decision to show up with grace, patience, and curiosity.
This mirrors the teachings of Jesus, who embodied the living Christ by meeting people where they were, encouraging their transformation, and loving them into wholeness. To love as Jesus did is to recognize the divine unfolding within each of us—to nurture it, rather than control it.
Embracing Authenticity: The Greatest Love We Can Give
Whether we are in romantic relationships, deep friendships, or community bonds, the way we love matters. Love is not about clinging; it is about becoming. When we love authentically, we become vessels of divine grace, co-creators of a world where love is expansive, not restrictive.
This Valentine’s Day, let’s shift our focus from fleeting displays of romance to the deeper call of love: to Elevate in Love, to embrace authenticity, and to be the living Christ for one another.
Love is not measured by grand gestures but by the quiet, daily affirmations that say:
“I see you. I honor your journey. I will walk with you as you become.”
That is the love that endures. That is the love that transforms. That is the love that leads us home.
Rev. Dr. Marrero is the founding pastor of No Reservations, a faith community dedicated to radical authenticity, psychological healing, and spiritual transformation. A theologian, activist, and advocate for the marginalized, he challenges conventional faith models to create a space where introspection, justice, and divine connection intersect.
